This I Swear by the Stars
by amethyst4096
Summary: Javert was not always the cold, harsh inspector who pursued Jean Valjean so ruthlessly. He was a man with a complicated past; a man who had endured a difficult childhood and who had once been in love.


Chapter 1: Prologue

Javert stood on the precipice, wondering at how he had ended up here. He had been on the side of the law, the side of justice. Hadn't he? Jean Valjean was a thief; there was no mercy for him. Those who broke the law deserved to be punished, did they not?

This had been Javert's mantra for the past twenty years. He was right and they were wrong. He had repeated it to himself over and over. Justice had become the purpose of his life; the law was his everything. It was his family, his friend, his only love. He would not renounce it now, he could not let years of passionate pursuit fall to dust. Valjean was clever; Javert had to give him that. He had disguised himself as a decent man, and nobody but Javert had seen past his kindly façade.

And yet he had given him his life. Javert had made his life miserable for so many years and Valjean had stood in front of him, a loaded gun in his hand, and told him to run. Javert was utterly baffled. Was the man trying to punish him, was that his motive in doing this? Because, if it was, then Valjean had certainly succeeded. Here he stood, tortured by the words that he had lived by for decades, feeling as if he had lost his only anchor in an endless sea. That criminal had no right! He could not sway Javert, no one could. The law was the law, and there was nothing beyond that.

But a tiny part of Javert wondered about the true nature of this man. Had he not taken in a ward and raised her as his own? Had he not gained the respect of an entire town who considered him their leader? And, moments ago, had he not spared the life of a man whose sole purpose was to reduce him to a common convict? Doubt began to cloud Javert's mind. These were not the actions of a man devoid of morals. These were not the actions of a man merely pretending to be good.

But Valjean had admitted it himself; _he had broken the law. _The law did not care if one had only stolen a meager loaf of bread, the law was the law, and to go against it was an unforgivable offense. So why did this man seem like an exception? There were no exceptions!

Javert's mind was a battlefield, his thoughts fighting back and forth over the enigma that was Jean Valjean. To his dismay, Javert was already losing his steadfast devotion to what he called justice. Questions sped through his mind. Everything he had held onto was falling through his fingertips. The very words that had once driven him now seemed to mock him.

Javert began to pace along the high wall on which he was standing. He looked down at the Seine below him. The wall was perilously thin; if he were to lose his balance, he would surely plummet to the rapids below. He found this oddly amusing, and let out a grim chuckle.

Those years of pursuit, were they all for nothing? His blind dedication to the law and its enforcement, was that for nothing, too?

Deep within his mind, Javert wondered if it had all been because of her. Had he only clung so desperately to the law to fill the gaping hole that she had left? He remembered feeling like he needed to do something, _anything, _to erase her from his mind.

And it was a criminal who had ripped her so cruelly from his side. That was what criminals did; they decimated people's lives and then went on living their own as if nothing had happened. It was this that had motivated Javert after the incident. If he could dedicate his entire life to the enforcement of laws then he could, in a way, avenge her. He would not let her die in vain.

And now, after giving decades to the law in her name, here stood Javert, wondering if any of it had meant anything at all. Had he really done nothing for her, in the end? He couldn't bear the thought of that. How could decades of valiant fighting come to nothing? How could he have been wrong when he had been so sure of his rightness?

These terrifying thoughts swirled through Javert's head like a hurricane. He looked down at the Seine again. From such a height, the water looked soft and inviting. He envisioned falling into the giant bed and sleeping forever, and smiled harshly at the thought.

In a split second, Javert made his decision. He didn't want to live in this world where he was wrong, where thieves weren't necessarily criminals. Where loved ones could be taken away in a moment. This world had always worked against him from the moment he was born. Even when he was given happiness, she was taken from him far too soon.

Before he could lose his resolve, Javert calmly let the wind take him down to the rushing Seine below as he thought of her for the last time.


End file.
